cleanliness is next to godliness, unless you're stealing what you're using for the cleaning; if that's the case, you're going straight to hell

Life’s littlest indulgences are often the most delightful. Traveling, I always miss my own bed, even if the bed I sleep on while away is one that I’ve slumbered on through many moons, like the spare bed in my parent’s house in Dartmouth, or Justin’s old mattress in Regina. The smell and textile of my own pillow are always missed, because I always fail to pack it. The stiff muscles with which I rouse every daybreak because I dare not disturb the kitties at my feet are part of the routine that I begin to crave days before I am due to fall into it again.

But there are some aspects of staying in another house that always excite me. Most notably, shampoo and conditioner. I am always terribly curious about how the shampoo that others wash with daily is going to treat my tresses. Does this volumizer really volumize? Just exactly how long will my locks smell of ginseng and papaya? Is this a product that I should purchase now that I’ve been able to test it, free of charge and obligation?

Though most of the time I am quick to cover my shampoo stealing tracks by bringing decoy bottles – nearly empty containers that I save solely for future journeys so that I can leave the used bottles at my destination, thereby freeing valuable suitcase real estate for unfolded clothes, or the result of the always excessive time I spend in gift shops – this need not be the case when I visit family. But the relief I feel in knowing I never have to worry about getting caught with the botanical extracts that rightfully belong to Grandma A. or Grandma B. in my hair is offset by the predictability of what’s on the shelf in their showers. Grandma A. always has some blend of Infusium 23 and Pantene, with a miscellaneous bottle or two that are either impulse purchases or direct from the discount bin, while Grandma B. is consistent in her old stand-by of Matrix Amplify. (But it’s odd. Grandma B. never has conditioner. Perhaps she uses the leave-in variety and keeps it in another location? I will have to investigate in August.)

I can trace exactly where this fetish started, but I’ll leave that for another day. In the meantime, maybe Grandma A. will read this and surprise me on Thursday with something new on her shelf. Maybe some kind of fancy lotion as well. I also likey.