whatever Trevor!

Moving to Ontario from Regina wasn't all sunshine and roses by any stretch of the imagination. Adoring and Wonderful Husband wasn't exactly keen on the idea - which is putting it VERY mildly - because it was just so hard to leave the comfort and security of the only city that either of us ever really knew for Big Bad Ontario. In the period leading up to the move, I had to try to be the strong, rational one in the relationship, because Adoring and Wonderful Husband was doing enough freaking out for both of us. (This is why we work, Justin and I. At any given time, one of us is a complete lunatic while the other does his or her best to keep things grounded. This is the secret to our success so far.) But in my heart, I was far from feeling like I was doing any kind of decent job of holding things together. My world was falling apart; my parents had just moved to one of Canada's beautiful coasts (and it wasn't the coast I was familiar with), my brother just moved to Saskatoon (which is Regina's inferior twin, in case you've never been), and my Baba and Gido had just passed away, throwing the family farm - and everything that Saskatchewan meant to me up till that point - into chaos. It was simultaneously one of the most exciting times in my life as it was one of the most terrifying. And because Adoring and Wonderful Husband had his own issues, I couldn't blink, at least not in his general direction.

And so I turned to her. Of course. A friend so special I needed only her to stand up for me at my wedding, even though there were four guys on the other side. During the dark period prior to moving when I was dealing with the guilt of throwing my relationship into complete disarray, and when I was high on the self-righteousness that convinced me I should be allowed to do so, and who was he to complain about it?, I talked to her about anything and everything I was thinking and feeling, and she told me when I was justified and when I was spewing complete and utter bull shit. She judged - oh yes, she judged - but she never did it in that silent condescending way that others who don't know you so well do. She came right out there and told me when I was right and when I was wrong and the whole time she had my true interests at heart. And the whole time because I was consumed with everything else that was going on, I was never able to truly deal with the heartbreak of what it would be like not to live in the same city as her, just down the street or across the alley. I was never able to really tell her that even though we've never been the type of friends to be glued at the hip (unless you count that one glorious and boozy summer when Adoring and Wonderful Husband and I met, a.k.a. Best! Summer! Of! My! Life!), there is an elastic band from my heart to hers that will never break no matter how far it stretches.

Happy birthday, KP. Have a G and T for me.