Mexicans are nothing but trouble. At least that’s what Bush thinks and so apparently the GOP thinks it would be a good idea to build a fence that’s either 700 or 2,000 miles long between the good ol’ US of A and its neighbour to the south (how long the fence would be depends on what newspaper you’re reading). Fine. Whatever. I think the problem of the illegal immigration of hungry people willing to pick your fruit for almost free is less of a concern than is having an illiterate tyrant for a president but that’s neither here nor there. The question I really want the answer to is: when will the City of Ottawa build a fence around MY property to keep the crazies away?
It’s like Coronation Street over here, except for all the accents and pubs and stuff. While at first Adoring and Wonderful Husband and I thought it would be nice to be living in a community full of retired people – because then they can watch your house during the day while you're off at work and cook you casseroles and mow your lawn and stuff – we now know that retired people? They don’t spend their time baking chocolate chip cookies as much as they do GOSSIPING ABOUT THE OTHER NEIGHBOURS. To US. Because Adoring and Wonderful Husband and I? We’re FRESH MEAT. We haven’t yet taken positions, and who wouldn’t want the cool new neighbours to be on your side in the war against Joe, the jackass from down the street that HAD THE AUDACITY TO PAINT HIS FENCE GREEN. (What a jackass!)
Thus far, our strategy has been to keep our heads down and not look any of them directly in the eye lest their evilness burn our retinas into the size of ants that have been shriveled down into little ant jerky by some 11-year-old boy’s magnifying glass. But I think our strategy is backfiring, because when we walk by the gaggle of hens that congregate alternately in front of either 1830 or 1839, there is an odd hush that befalls the street, with smiles that are just a bit too plastic filling up the void where clucking was once rife. Is it because they think we’ve sided with 1834, who in fact does manicure the blades of grass and weeds that grow in our front yard once in a while (thanks Ronnie!) Or are we the new target of their maliciousness (because we DID paint the fence we recently erected a light shade of grey – how odd!)
Oh well. At least none of them are like the last neighbour we had in Regina who was a compulsive hoarder and put a pile of dog crap that she had accumulated in her basement on our side of the driveway because she thought we were the ones who called the humane society on her for neglecting/abusing her dog. (Though it was us who called - eight times – she didn’t know that, making the gift of feces uncalled for in my opinion.)
Winter and Justin: Bringing down property values in a neighbourhood near you.
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1 sweet nothing:
w00t! go politics! *high five*
i have some crazy neighbors too. they like to cut all their trees down and throw the wood over the wire fence they put up in into my yard. (they also like to play obnoxiously loud beatles music.)
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