I shop, therefore IKEA

Every so often I have I crisis of capitalism.* I will shove my way through the herd that congregates at the Entrance/Exit of [insert name of any evil megastore that provides lobodomies free with purchase of 24 pack of toilet paper, or stuffed rat, here] and wonder if this is really what I was put on Earth to do: consume and discard illimitably. Why spend Saturday afternoon trolling the aisles of [insert name of soulless corporate entity that will determine who the 44th US president will be, as well as next Spring’s fashions, here] when I could be exploring the hills of Gatineau, reading a work from the canon of English literature, or generally marveling at the sun, moon and quarks that make up this amazing world we live in? Does lululemon really define me as an individual? Will KitchenAid really help me build a better burger (if I even cooked?) How can I honestly say that I care about the fate of Mother Nature when everything I buy from [insert name of distributor of finely stitched cashmere blazers, a.k.a. the scourge of child labourers and their arthritic hands everywhere, here] is triple-packaged? And then I think: Where would I buy the shoes I need to go hiking if I gave up retail therapy? And those books that would lie on my bedside table if really wanted to poo poo the brand new flat screen TVs that bring us the news of what may or may not be detonation of North Korea’s first atomic bomb? Would I need to type them myself? lululemon? I haven’t found a better cap for running yet.

I don’t really know how to end this post other than to ask if anyone else is bothered that the hotdogs you can buy in the IKEA restaurant cost less than the coffee. You’d think the flesh and eyeball matter of a once living creature would cost more than a bean in a disposable paper cup. (I would stay and sigh, but I’m busy posting ads for our appliances on UsedOttawa.com. Reduce, reuse, recycle, right?)

* Guaranteed when Adoring and Wonderful Husband read this, he mentally said, “Yeahhh, rigghhttt. I’ve got bank statements that beg to differ.”