When I was 13, I used to take the tags off the inside of my collar and sew them onto a plain t-shirt, probably of the Zeller's variety, to stretch my dollar. Two Mexx shirts for the price of one. 13-year-old girls are a stressed out lot. Stressed that the boy that sits beside them in Algebra thinks they're fat and ugly. Stressed that they only got 84% on their English mid-term (why not just one mark higher?) Stressed that they'll stand up one day and there will be a tell-tale mark on their bum, proof that their hips are widening, a signal of their impending right of passage from Pretending to Make Ken and Barbie Kiss to Thinking About Him, All The Time, Would He Just Get Off My Mind Already? I Have a Computer Science Assignment Due. Guhh! And, of course, stressed that the clothes they're wearing don't at all say about them what it is they want to be said: I am beautiful. My dad can afford to buy me Mexx, all the time. Not just one shirt out of two. Yup. Nothing but the best for me!
I re-read the last few months of my blog this afternoon, after cleaning the floors so that Boh won't have to crawl around on hardwood covered in dried-up, week old beans, or Gordie fur, when he gets home tonight, and before a beautiful run that made me both happy to be where I was at the same time as slightly regretful that I didn't go skiing in the Hills this weekend, because if not this weekend, then I don't know when I could next get around to it. I re-read it with an eye to thinking about what it says about me, how it labels me, to people who might pick it up in the middle and look back and follow forward, people who I don't really know but who know me, now, because of the words I bring to your screen. I'm not sure it's a completely accurate depiction of who I am or what I think, this blog. But it's pretty good. There are certain places I will never be able to go, demons I will never be able to unleash on you so that you sit there with your mouth slightly agape, morning coffee in your hand, horrified, wondering who this crazy person is that you had drinks with last weekend or gave birth to 28 years ago. But I like that you know things about me that you might not were it not through my writing in this medium. And I hope that you still like who I am.
3 sweet nothing:
Would love you no matter what.
I love this entry. Right before I read it I was contemplating starting my own blog - would I just leave it out there randomly or actually tell people I knew that I was starting it? How do people put themselves out there like that? Am I really capable of entertaining anyone with my daily goings on? Also, this entry made me think wouldn't it be great if teenaged girls actually talked to each other? Maybe the same is true of women; maybe opening up via blog is more powerful than we think?
YO.... It's Dave D. I guess at one point I said I'd throw a cd together of mp3s... I still plan on doing that, but I guess I've been sort of a basketcase lately. I just finished up PHD applications. To celebrate, I compiled a playlist of cool Canadian bands and I've been listening to it for most of the day while watching sports on tv.
Here's a link: http://radio3.cbc.ca/play/davedonovan22
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